his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Sorry my hands just texted you
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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