I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
