every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
is that a dick in a sweater?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
