If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize