Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
