i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
is that a dick in a sweater?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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