I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
