I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
