i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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