I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
