he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
