I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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