I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
handjob tips. give me some.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
i think i just lost a toe
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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