By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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