Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
