I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
So apparently I’m into choking now
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