after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
