my mouth tastes like poor choices
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
