better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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