party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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