WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
