It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
