he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
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