So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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