OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
The feeling are messing with the penis
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
