you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
