Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
