I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
