i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
she pinky promised me she was 18
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
