is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
