this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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