I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Randomize
