I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
