even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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