well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
