You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I intend to get homeless drunk
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
