By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
