people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
