the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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