I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize