Got a toothbrush?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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