the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
