How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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