I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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