His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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