Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
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