therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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