I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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