I feel like I'm in dance class right now
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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