Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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