They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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