school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
