Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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