Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize