How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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