don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I need a hoe opinion
go on
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
