This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
