i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
