I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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