we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
