1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
