the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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