they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I just found a bag of teeth...
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
